Church Daze

Let me start off by saying, this is not part two of The Ripple Effect.

I can already hear the groans of some of my family members. I'm working on it, I promise! - but I'm inspired to write what I'm inspired to write and that's just the way it happens.

When I was younger, going to church was something I dreaded.

Yes, I'll admit it. I didn't want to go - not at first. Why? It was something I was forced into doing. I had to wake up early on Sunday morning, get crammed into clothes I hated just to listen to a message that I really didn't care about for a couple of hours.

Church was a habit back then. It wasn't enjoyable, or something I spent the entire week looking forward to doing. It was a chore - and that ladies and gentlemen is definitely not what church should feel like.

I can't remember actually going to a church I liked until I was about 10 or 11; the first church that I felt I was actually learning something; the first church that made me want to learn more about the Lord. Humorously enough, it was actually my aunt Kara who found that church. She was trying to help my uncle find one to go to.

And we stuck to it.

Don't get me wrong, I still had my doubts. There were things going on in my life, and at my young age I couldn't fathom why. I was angry; I didn't know why God was doing this to me, or even if he was there - but I always went when I could because I loved hearing the Bible stories - I loved learning, and something deep down in my heart was always stirred.

I am so excited that we are starting our own church. Let me just repeat that: OUR OWN CHURCH!

I know that sometimes, especially for children whose situations are less than cheery - they only go to church so they have an excuse not to be at home. I don't blame them - when I was their age I would have wanted to be anywhere but home.

I want our church to be more than just an escape. I want it to be a place where these children feel free. I want it to be a place that learning more about our Lord causes an excitement in them like nothing else.

I want them to be able to worship as they please, pray as they please, and have their mind open to every endless possibility about God's plan for their future.


It is my heart's desire to keep these children from falling into a church daze, and I'm bound and determined to do so.

Y'all better get excited with me.

Chaos!

Have you ever driven a fifteen passenger van - filled with children who's saftey was in your hands - all the while all of them talking at once and very loudly while you're pulling your hair out because you have no idea where you're going?

Well, I have.

Now, I've driven the van before numerous times. By this point, I've gotten pretty comfortable with it. I've even broken down in the van on the side of the road with about 15 girls, and we got through that okay.

I've never been really stressed driving this van until Paris, Madison and I started Wyld-Life on Wednesday night. Wyld-Life is a Young Life program, but for middle school kids. I was actually super pumped for it, because I thought it would be really good experience for the three of us to be Wyld-Life leaders.

Before we took off, my aunt Kara came in to talk to me, and just told me to be extra cautious. That's not abnormal; though the moment we picked up even a few kids I could start to feel the pressure. Paris was in the passenger seat, telling me to go pick up kids who's houses for all I knew were in Timbuktu. I got lost several times, turned around in circles, trying to listen to Paris' directions (though if we're being honest here, I'll put some of the blame on that GPS. It doesn't seem trustworthy.)

All the while, the kids were in the back, arguing and carrying on and basically yelling over everything Paris was trying to tell me. It was being jammed in the middle of a beehive. My ears were buzzing.

Have you ever been in one of those situations where you just want to yell 'BE QUIET!' really loud? Don't tell me you haven't because you'd be lying to yourself. Everyone has. For me, this would have definitely been one of those times.

Of course I didn't yell. I love those kids, I did however turn around and very sternly tell them that they needed to be quiet so I could hear where I needed to go. With the reaction they gave me, you would have think I yelled. They all fell quiet and just stared, murmuring their yes ma'ams' - I was pretty stunned myself, but I'm pretty sure I had never once before come off stern with the kids. The thing that really threw me for a loop was that after I'd said it, they were really quiet for  along time, even helpful. They told me better directions than the darn GPS enabled smartphone.

The rest of the night went pretty well, and I calmed down after that little bit of chaos at the beginning. There was only one part at the end of the night were we had to stop and practice being quiet for three minutes because the kids were getting way out of control.

I know perhaps this doesn't seem the most stressful situation to most people. I know half of you are probably going 'what's the big deal?' - for me it was a pretty good idea. I'm not used to being a leader for so many people, though I know God wouldn't dish out more than I could handle. Having the saftey of 12 kids plus your own cousins is a pretty big weight to bare, and I want to take it as seriously as I can.

It was our first time doing Wyld-Life, so I'm sure the next trip will go alot more smoothly. I'm confident about that, and I'm really glad I've been given this opportunity because it's a big weakness of mine, and I know I need to grow in it.

And if it doesn't go well?

I just hope Madi doesn't conveniently snap another embarrassing picture of me tearing my hair out.

The Ripple Effect; Part One: He's been preparing me.

"Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you which is wellpleasing in his sight, though Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen."
                                                            - Hebrews 12:21

A couple hours ago, my cousin, Paris ambled into my room asking me if I would do the (hopefully) daily blog post for WOW Kids. Truth be told, I wanted to grumble and complain and go to sleep because we've had quite the eventful day, though something in the back of my mind was really pushing for me to make it, so I agreed. (It might also have something to do with the fact that there are still a few kids here, making it impossible to get any sort of sleep...but I'm going to go with it was God pushing me)

My initial plan was to just write about how our day at church went today. Simple, right? So, I get half way to typing my little story out.

God says, "Nope, I don't want you to write about that."

Well, alright. You're the boss. I change my mind, go for an approach about preparing my little kids class for the ministry. Awesome- I put on my writing playlist, get halfway with that...and then again, there's that voice at the back of my head.

God says, "I don't want that, either."

At this point, I'm pretty sure I made that odd  horse noise. You know, the one where you stick out your lips and kind of let them flop around.  So, I turn off the music, take off my headphones and sit there on my bed with my hands folded in my lap. "Okay then, God," I say, with ample determination, "Tell me what it is exactly you want me to write."

And He says, "I want you to tell your story."

...AlphaandOmegasaywhat.

Hahahaha. You know me, Lord. You know how timid I am. You know that I've never really shared my story - not in excessive detail anyway. I'm not looking for sympathy, and really I don't want random strangers having access to my life story at the little click of a button. Besides, who is really going to sit there and read that?

No reply, just the same words echoing around in my head: "I want you to tell your story."

So I'm going to. I have to trust that God knows that He's doing and that there's a reason He's told me to tell my story, on this little blog of all places.

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For those of you who are geeks like me, you'll know all about Doctor Who. I'm a BIG fan of Doctor Who, let me tell you. I went through a phase when all I would do was lay in bed and watch the episodes all day and night - and I mean all of them, the classic ones included.

I'm just a tad obsessed - the theme song is even my ringtone.

At any rate the show is about the man who calls himself simply "The Doctor" - he's the last of his kind, and he goes around in his time-and-space-warping-machine called the TARDIS. Basically, he saves the Universe on a daily basis.

There are so many times in my life where I've paused and wished that I had a TARDIS, just so I could go back in time. So that I could prevent something from happening, or take back something silly I said - maybe try to get a better grade in Math, I don't know.

Slowly, I've come to realize that if The Doctor randomly showed up on my doorstep, shouted "Allons-y!" (cheers to anyone who gets the reference)  and told me that he'd take me back in time and allow me to change any event in my past, I wouldn't do it. (Not like this would really happen, I know he isn't real, good gravy. Don't put me away in a mental home just yet, I'm just trying to paint a picture for you here.)

Why?

Because every moment of my life has a specific purpose; He has been preparing me to do His work my entire life without me even knowing.

I've been virtually homeless. I've been completely on my own with my parents in another country. I've been tested, pushed, depressed, suicidal. I've been in more dangerous situations than I can count. I've been bullied, ignored, mistreated.

Everything I used to think I was so unfair, that I was so bitter about - I'm now incredibly thankful for, because I know now there was a reason, and that He was just leading me to my path all along.
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Thanks for reading, and I hope you'll actually join me on the rest of this little adventure.

- Cecily Macomber